What is feedback?

Feedback is information. 

Have you ever been to a restaurant and had a bad experience, perhaps you received the wrong meal, or the wait was far too long. You have a choice, give feedback or stay silent and never go back again. One option is really helpful to the restauranteur, the other is costly. Ask anyone in business and they would prefer to hear about the experiences of their customers as quickly as possible so they can apologise, rectify, improve or adapt. Yet, many people choose to avoid a scene or don't want to make a fuss, so simply stay silent. Emotions get in the way.

If you press the wrong command on you computer, you will get instant feedback. It may come in the form of an error message or simply nothing happens. When you click the right button, you get the outcome you wanted. If you spell a word wrong, the programme highlights your mistake. You don't take offence, you simply rectify the issue or continue. You might get frustrated or annoyed, but rarely do you take it personally or wish the system hadn't corrected you.

A doctor will try a course of treatment and if it isn't working, they look for underlying causes and try to remedy it. They are dealing with peoples lives and need to get it right. Feedback is essential at the most very basic level.

Feedback is simply information. Yet human to human feedback can feel tricky, painful or even shameful. Those feelings get in the way of the corrective or reinforcing actions, especially when it's subjective.

It's all about the delivery

The way in which feedback is given is critical. If it is expected it lands so much better. In cultures or environments where feedback is the norm, people expect it, so when it is received they are more receptive. Perhaps it is an everyday event, or a scheduled one to one meeting, or during the delivery of a 360 feedback session, the recipient is prepared and hopefully open to receiving. 

If the feedback is framed as a learning or improvement opportunity, the perspective is all about growth rather than corrective action. It feels less like a telling off or a patronising pat on the head. 

If the feedback is structured, it creates safety. Unstructured or impromptu messaging can disarm the recipient and make them feel unsafe. So although the recipient is responsible for their own behaviours and reactions, the giver must take responsibility for the environment or style in which they deliver it. 

The feedback giver controls the delivery. The recipient controls the response. This happens in conversation.

So in essence; Feedback between humans is a conversation. Just as the quality of the computer feedback gives a specific outcome or results, the quality of the conversation dictates the human reaction or change.